laugh lines

when I am old
and I survey
the topography
of my life
stretching back
over precarious peaks
past despairing valleys
through vast plains
of plain living
I hope
that what time has etched
into the microcosm
of my face
is no map of misery
but a splendid span
of laugh lines
smiles are fine
a few frowns inevitable
a grimace now and then
but as I live in this land
crossing valleys, peaks, plains
I know in my core—
the mantle of me—
that my author writes comedy
with unequal mastery
his comic timing
cosmically sound
not taking the easy laugh
but milking the buildup
with unparalleled patience
and attention to craft
no stranger to sarcasm
eminently capable
of downright zingers
one-liners
pounding punchlines
and anecdotal precision
not avoiding humor’s
equally charismatic
and compelling cousin, tragedy
but crossing the line
between tears and laughter
with great facility
strumming every heart string
in a rich, compelling chord

as I work out
salvation
life
navigating the landscape
set out for me
I do so with fear and trembling
knowing
that, for me,
trembling
is a byproduct
of laughter

May 2007

easy, now

head scratching
heart searching
breast beating—
those works don’t

wonder the way
words weigh down
bind the mind
little prisons
subject verb
disagreement
rules rigid
pain perplexing
strain to see
the love
through the law

wander the way
be okay
to beat new trails
to take your time
to look up and look down
you cannot get lost
you cannot lose—
truly, verily, yea

look for signs:
still waters
love welling up
and peace
unspeakable
heartbursting
joysobbing
peace

the Way is easy
go follow point be
that way

May 2007

crumbs

2000 calories
aren’t making a dent
in the fireache
the gaping, moaning
yawning chasm
of my belly
I throw everything—
all I can find—at it
high fiber
low carb
protein blast
vitamin enriched
produce
it all just passes
right through
in the end
change tactics:
confuse it with hydration
some manmade nutrients
still empty
I shoot for numb
bottles
glasses
shots
pouring the fun on
with pisspoor results
the ache only multiplies
scatters
collateral damage
the hunger screams
frantic, I fumble
grasping anything
my fingers can reach:
bank statements
kudos
promotions
canceled loan notes
love letters
birth announcements
new product manuals
exercise plans
cd box sets
digital cameras
director’s cut DVDs
books by highly regarded,
bitingly witty,
visionary, activist,
spiritual thinkers
and I stuff and stuff
cram and chew
stuff stuff stuff stuff
stifle the gag reflex
and try to keep it all down

and I just feel crummy
empty
and lied to

I wonder
if the point
is the hunger itself
if it has a message
if it is the message
I wonder
if I listened
if I gave up
on stuff
would I even need
a fantastic feast
or would I learn
to find flavor
and fullness
in the smallest crumb
from the Master’s table

I wonder

May 2007

emanuel

strange, this communion
that calls, pulls, drags, leads, transforms
sacred in common

May 2007

gymnastics

another rehearsal
hard at the business of play
you sneak a glance
test the tethers
watch me
watch you
then lose yourself
exploring what it means
to be in the skin you’re in
you bounce
I delight
you tumble
I marvel
you stretch
and stretch us both
I freeze this fragile moment
and see you speed ahead
taller, faster, stronger
girl to woman to gone
far from my watchful eye
I sigh
you spy me again and wave
practicing goodbye
even now
for this class is short
and too soon
while you are lost in activity
I will quietly sneak out
and you
you will be just fine.

May 2007