head lines & heart breaks

aware

kevinreeve — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 14:16:07 +0000

schooled out
a master class
in the frailty of flesh
with much wisdom
comes humiliation
(or maybe the other way around)
nature speaks
volumes
I can’t keep up
with the reading
but know the themes
enough to fake it
through the tests
pass
fail
all these glaring dualities—
wanting more time
that I mostly piss away
thirsting for grace
that I drown in works
(or, worse, plans for them)
waxing knowledge
waning strength
railing, wailing, flailing alone
with connections all around

I can’t walk for tripping
over the stumps
of my thinning forest

stand against the march of time
or get in line

June 2011

provision

kevinreeve — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 14:13:26 +0000

the banquet prepared
hope is on the table
I must pick it up

June 2011

on mission

kevinreeve — Thu, 19 May 2011 13:36:37 +0000

woe to her
if she does not lay down
her life for her friends

woe to her
if she does not test
their loyalty
through an overflow
of unrequested giving

woe to her
if she neglects
the thousand kindnesses
she is compelled to offer:
notes, calls, meals, visits,
job tips, professional advice,
a listening ear
affection
attention

woe to her
if her pouring out
fails to keep pace
with her sacred welling up

woe to her
if she learns
to precondition
her unconditional love

woe to her
if she allows
the predictable letdown
from the recipients
of her tireless, gracious acts
to thwart her divine mission

this precious, rare, warm
glowing light
that God
in His good wisdom
and strange providence
has, against the logic
of human interaction,
undeniably lit
let no man
or woman
or stranger
or misunderstanding friend
ever snuff out

woe to a world
without her
doing what
she was made
and is being made
and comes perfectly natural
and joyful
and painful
to do

May 2011

dawn forage

kevinreeve — Mon, 16 May 2011 15:49:14 +0000

peering over the second deck
at a groundhog wandering for food
nibbling at the plentiful weeds
and newly grown grass
unaware in his earnest,
prosaic necessary task
of my silent still observance

I wonder who is more at home

May 2011

mat

kevinreeve — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 16:56:45 +0000

on the mat
grappling with a competitor
I didn’t expect to be so strong
so nimble
so impervious to my tactics
(my pitiful, predictable repertoire)
he saw every move coming
now I flail to defend
straining, sweating
one shoulder down
impossibly fast
my reliable wind failing
it occurs to me:
I may not win this
I may be forced to concede
and what does that look like?
is it a defeat
or am I being trained?
is it even possible to lose?
what is really on the line?
what colors do I represent?
if I didn’t righteous my way in
how could I heresy my way out?

can a big love
a soul-swallowing grace
blow up the supports
for this old house
and build something new
in its place?
can I submit to this?
is there a win
in this pin
for me?
can I accept
throwing out the old rulebook
can I live with
and happily pursue
a game
everybody wins?

about to find out

March 2011

confluence

kevinreeve — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 15:16:07 +0000

conflicted with the
unapparent balance
of three trajectories:
a tragic anniversary
a new, precious life
a heartbreaking goodbye
life—
the sacred common denominator
the deflationary currency
priceless
unpurchaseable
its security
never certain
only realized
in the next breath
then expired

Solomon’s misinterpreted wisdom:
life isn’t meaningless
but a vapor
ever passing
its meaning infused
by its inherent finitude
its tragic finality
we chase the wind
for what we cannot grasp

March 2011

tenses

kevinreeve — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 18:10:32 +0000

I need a timeless God
one who is present
in all my tenses:
one who can reach back
through all of my past
and rectify
the wrongs
clean up
the debris
and make whole
all the brokenness
I’ve not fully left—
I need restoration
I need the Great I WAS

one who casts a true clear vision
across the crests of time
I cannot yet see
and sets my feet
on a straight road
of righteousness, creativity, boldness, and grace
and keeps an endless medley of new songs
on my lips
and renewing lightness in my step
as I make my way
in community
toward the holy city
I need hope and a future
I need the Great I WILL BE

and one with me
in the ever present now
the here that haunts me
and assaults me
with more than my senses register
this fulcrum between what was
and will be
where I ponder every branch
of the decision tree before me
constantly battling paralysis
at what seems too big to carry
fretful over paths destroyed
paths not taken
and paths I may yet forsake
I need love, acceptance
and the unmistakable truth
that I am not
nor never was
nor never will be
alone
I need
and I have
and I lean on
and burrow into the arms of
the Great I AM

October 2010

truce

kevinreeve — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 12:16:11 +0000

acrimony is passé
cynicism a thin veil
that will never fully mask
our insecurities
why not cast our lot
with hope
I’m through taking sides
I’m on everyone’s side
grace demands it
my logic now, too
what was novel
then normal
now natural
I’m declaring peace
at all costs
the Jesus way
is all there is
the only death
worth living for
the only life
worth giving away

August 2010

worldview

kevinreeve — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 18:06:14 +0000

no more them
we are being annexed
by all
just us here now

seeing only two sides
belies a flat world view
but the world
on which I stand—
God’s world—
is delightfully round
and every place
gives way
comes round again
and touches all
we all touch
whether or not
we mean to
all ground
in common

we are family
are we not?
how can I win
if you lose?
how can you win
without me?
how could anyone
wish harm
on his Father’s
other children?
if He can die for all
can I not put to death
my little squabbles
and prejudices?
if He can embrace all
can I keep my arms folded?

all the sacred ground
we die on
all the sacred texts
we wield as swords
all the rules
that weigh people down
every “and” we add
to the first and final Word
must be stifled
every rider we tack on
to the great fulfillment
and abolishment
of the Law
must be deleted
every well-meaning prescription
we seek to improve
the divine panacea
that is the grace of God
must be left unfilled

relate!
connect!
forgive!
listen!
love!
for God’s sake
for all

all else is failure
and not of this world
our Father’s world
the kingdom is near!
the kingdom is here!

lay down your weapons
set aside your scorekeeping
erase your enmity
and worship
together (!)
in the fullness of love
and brotherhood
and sisterhood
laughing
weeping singing
before our great
servant king
we know what
we must do

September 2010

hold up the sky

kevinreeve — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 18:05:27 +0000

I have to trust
what I cannot touch
but touches me
touches all
I have to believe
in what I cannot see
but fixes its gaze
seeing all

loved ones scattered
and leading their lives
waiting out storms
soaring through the air
and we all spin
perilously fast

I have to trust
I must believe
You hold each one
as surely
as you hold up the sky

September 2010